Our series of videos about end of life care explores people’s decisions and why they felt they were important and why they wanted to make sure people knew what they were thinking just in case.

What helps me make decisions about my life is doing lots of research myself and lots of reading myself.

Some of the patients that I’ve looked after, they weren’t prepared, they didn’t get to make those conversations, to have those conversations and to make their wishes known to people.

And I think that’s what really drives me to make sure that people are aware of what my decisions are.

My daughter’s got autism, so we had to make decisions about her future and they were really hard things to do. 

But I think it was really important things to do.

I’m a very indecisive person so talking to people helps me to consider what my options are. 

I also like to take time to reflect and consider my options before I make any decisions.

I’m alright myself making decisions.

Being aware of what my priorities and values are.

I think being aware of what my blind spots are as well and knowing when I need to take advice.

Being a practicing Muslim, a lot of what it says in my religion is what I base my decisions in my life on.

An experience I had with a very close friend who was dying, who asked me to help her to organise her funeral.

Strange though it sounds, we had the greatest fun going along to Hartley’s Coffee Shop, sitting in corners, selecting readings and hymns.

The first thing is taking responsibility for where you’re going, but having some sense of the challenges that lie ahead, whether that’s children, carer responsibilities, supporting your own children going forward with their lives.

I have been a carer for three close family members at the end of life and again, that does influence you. 

When you’re a carer you sometimes see the other side of things.

The only decision that I can really make is about my end of life. I can put down the ideals of what I particularly want when I get there, what I want from my family, relatives, people who actually care for me.

Being a carer for my parents, they’re elderly now, they’ve got several different health conditions and I don’t want to become a burden for my family in the future, so that’s helped me make decisions to look at my own lifestyle.

I think I listen a lot to the people that are important to me, so family and friends, particularly my parents.

I try to stay away from listening to what the world says and social media.

You obviously need, as you get into later life, possibly some professional medical support. 

Having a GP I’ve got a long-term relationship with makes a great deal of difference.

My carer helps me sometimes to decide what I want to do, my activities and all sorts of things.

For me my faith is very important and it’s how I make sense of the world and how I make sense of decisions for myself in the future.

It’s the lens through which I look at the future and look at my life.

My partner continually tells me that I don’t consult him often enough.

It’s taken me a long time to actually realise that there’s two people that my decisions affect.


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